SUNDAY. AUGUST 13th 2017, 8 PM EST
We interrupt this broadcast for an address from the President of the United States.
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Ladies and gentlemen of the United States of America.
It is my sad duty to inform you that as of yesterday, a terrorist attack was carried out during a traitorous demonstration in Charlottesville, VA yesterday. Many of you will disagree with my terminology, and my intended response to said attack. But let's get a few things clear right now, for the slow learners and the ignorant among us.
Firstly, in the 19th century, the southeastern states in our union illegally attempted to secede from our nation. These states, who took arms against the rest of their country in order that they should retain the right to buy and sell their fellow human beings as slaves were defeated. Since then, a vocal faction of our populace in those states has petulantly fought every advance for human rights in those states. They have since wrapped themselves in the traitorous flag of oppressors and called it racial pride, and defended their right to terrorize their fellow Americans with all the symbolism the confederate flag implies. Today, their brethren have disguised themselves in white inquisitorial robes to hide their identities, and justified the burning of crucifixes and the lynching of their fellow Americans. And they have done so behind the aegis of free speech, as guaranteed by the First Amendment of our country's constitution; a document their beloved ancestors forswore more than a century ago.
Secondly, in the 20th century, the entire world roused itself to war in order to contain, defeat and eliminate the fascist nationalist threat posed by the German Nazi Party. These were people who were guided by a 19th century misinterpretation of the evolutionary theories of Charles Darwin that put forward that 'the lesser races of mankind' needed to be cleansed and eliminated from the world in favor of their 'aryan master race'. They managed to murder over 14 million people before they were done. They were bigoted fascists and attempted to eliminate whole races and ethnicities within the human race. They have been the undisputed face of evil in the modern world since before I was born. So much so that the world united in order to eliminate the threat of their poisoned philosophy. This would be a philosophy so reviled in our history that its practitioners have since attempted to hide and rebrand themselves as the 'alternative right' in our society. This is a pathetic insult to our intelligence as a people. Especially when there are still those among us that remember having to fight them 75 years ago.
Are we clear on that? The confederates were traitorous criminals who took arms against the United States in defiance of basic human rights guaranteed in our constitution in order to preserve slavery. The Nazis were fascist nationalist supremacist murderers to the degree that they've been THE face of evil around the world for the last 75 years. Specious bigots may want to argue semantics at this point, but really, that's what my message boils down to. And with the weight of history and all of their murder victims on my side, I think I'm unlikely to be dissuaded from this point. If they want to deny the Nazi's part in the holocaust, or the rightness of our cause in the Civil War, or World War II, I invite them to take a little trip to Arlington Cemetery in the company of some of our distinguished military veterans and say it to their faces. And I'll tell you right now. I will issue a presidential pardon to ANY soldier who feels offended enough to physically offer a non-lethal counter-argument surrounded by his fellows in Arlington.
Now that we're clear on a few points, it is now my sworn duty and privilege to execute a particular part of my oath of office. As we now have domestic groups and organizations identifying themselves with the Nazi Swastika and the Confederate Flag that are carrying out acts of terror and violence against their fellow Americans; Under powers granted to me by the USA PATRIOT act, I now authorize the attorney general, and the FBI to consider the Ku Klux Klan and any nationalist white supremacist group to be terrorist organizations, subject to surveillance and investigation for possible threats. Individuals displaying these terrorist insignia, may be added to "no-fly" lists, and will be disqualified from military or public service. And these individuals will certainly have any permits for weaponry or arms revoked in perpetuity. If you're going to self-identify as a Nazi or with people guilty of hate-crimes and murder? I believe gun ownership is a little too much responsibility for you. Ya think? At this point, the rest of us get to consider that you are judgementally impaired, and a threat to your fellow humans.
This is not meant to invoke emergency powers and declare some kind of fascist state of martial law. I need the American public to understand. We are facing a dedicated program of infiltration of our law enforcement, and military forces by terrorist organizations wrapping themselves in the kind of poisoned patriotism that victimizes, tortures and murders people that don't agree with their worldview. These are not uneducated backwoods people that don't know any better. They are teachers, businessmen, deacons in our churches, judges, governors and congressmen. They are people who have seen our country's declared thesis that we are all equal, and rejected it completely. This is not some propagandized demonization of a race, or philosophy based on hate-fueled disinformation. These are people who have killed within the borders of our country while raising the Nazi salute. These are actual seig-heiling, swastika wearing, salute throwing white-supremacist Nazis. And given that their endgame is always going to be totalitarian genocide, their diseased philosophy has no place within our country.
Directing my words to these terrorists, let me be clear. And I say this in my capacity as the elected leader of this country. So my opinion on the matter is something of a qualified one when I say this to every white supremacist, neo-nazi, klan member or whatever poisonous bigotry you subscribe to. This is not your land. You gave up that claim when you took arms against your former fellow Americans, assaulted, injured and killed them. These are the very definitions of terrorist acts. And I will do everything in my power to ensure you are defined in our country as domestic threats and enemy combatants. You are murderous traitors to your people and your country, and I will treat with you as such.
Understand. I'm not merely defending people of color, or our LGBT brothers and sisters. I'm not taking sides against white people. And by now I hope you'd all know me well enough to know that I'm not siding with any specific religion against Christianity. I imagine many of those I'll never be able to reach might regard me as a 'race traitor' or 'heathen'. If it puts me on the other side of the ideological divide from Nazis, I'll wear those epithets with pride. I'm doing my job here. I literally swore I'd do this on a copy of Carl Sagan's 'Cosmos' when I took office. I'm defending Americans against Nazis. What's more ideologically right and just than stamping out bigoted totalitarian fascists in the name of freedom and justice?
Do you see how easy that was, Ladies and Gentlemen of the United States? I'm the president of the United States of America. I am hemmed in by all manner of issues of protocol and political correctness. And I just came up here on international television and denounced White Supremacists, Neo-Nazis and the Ku Klux Clan as terrorists and murderers.
Now naturally, I have ridiculous amounts of security protecting me. So I can say things like that with impunity. Not so easy when you're just someone who may live in a place like Charlottesville where you literally have white shirts and white hoods strolling around with guns in your streets. I intend to do something about that part. But it's not just on me to fix this. We need to come together as a people and uniformly decree that murderous bigots don't just to get to wrap themselves in the Nazi flag, dress up in inquisitorial robes, and call it free speech when you terrorize, hurt or kill your countrymen. We can give this enemy of our most highly held ethics no shelter. We can give them no succor. If they want to be enemies of our way of life, we can give them no opportunity to grow and spread their poisoned foolishness.
I encourage the victims and the people of Charlottesville to email any pictures they took of the protesting Nazis, Klansmen and White Supremacists to an address that will be provided on a special counter-terrorist site we will be setting up for this particular purpose. We will be cross-referencing this information with our law enforcement databases. If evidence of a crime was committed, I encourage the attorney general and the FBI to act on it. I encourage our state and local police forces to crack down on it. I want pictures of these terrorists with the torches and the swastikas online where they can be identified by the public, and employers and law enforcement. I want pictures of these Nazis and Klansmen so that they can publicly stand behind their stated convictions. And *I* want to publicly denounce them by name.
I want to make sure that when they go to work tomorrow that their dirty little secret is blown. I want them to feel the disapproving stares of their friends and co-workers. I want them out of work and unable to find new employment. I want them living hand to mouth, and unable to support their hateful little hobby at our expense. I want them with no sense of empowerment or vindication. I want them to know what real persecution actually feels like. Not this privleged version of the idea they seem to have inherited from ignorant bigots. I want them to know what it feels like to have every hand against them. I want no hiding place for these terrorists in our society. I want them to enjoy no comfort, guarantee or feeling of security in a society whose values they have rejected.
This is not their country. If I have my way, they'll have no country. And good riddance.
These groups are not going to sit down with us and sing Kumbaya. These enemies of the American people are not interested in making nice with us. They want us gone and dead. The core of their philosophy is the elimination of what they consider lesser species so that they have more resources for themselves. We can try to stretch out a hand to them once more. And as history has shown us, they will smile and hide behind their robes and the costumes they wear; the costumes they put on when they're not being murderous bigots and pretend to be like the rest of us. And they will wait as they always seem to do until they're feeling emboldened once more, and someone dies. Tolerance is a two-sided conversation. Tolerance is a pact we make as a people to live with one another in peace by trying to understand one another. If these people have no interest in living tolerantly with us, then we as a people need to tear out this infestation by its roots. And this time, we make sure the words 'never again' mean something.
The murderers, fascists, and white supremacist nationalists would seem to have made their choice and sided with the most undeniable evil we, as human beings have thus far managed in modern history. And we need to show them that this choice comes with consequences in the land of the equal, the free and the brave.
Thank you for your time, my fellow citizens. As ever, thank you again for the opportunity to serve as your president. Good night.
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