Again, I have a hypothetical. And it's an unpleasant one. I have to imagine that people will do something of a deep search on me were I to run for public office and try to crucify me with whatever dirt they can dig up. They'll probably find my unpaid student loans. That's not sexy for a news cycle. EVERYONE has unpaid student loans now. If anything that makes me more sympathetic.
Now... if they get my internet history... well, that's probably something different. I used a VPN nowadays cos I dislike being public with my browsing habits. They're no-one's business anyway. But someone's going to pull up that old show I appeared on when I was talking about Robot Fetishists. Someone's going to want to talk about my porn viewing habits and what little there is of my kink lifestyle. This is going to be a landmine for them. At least I hope so, because I have this idea I'd like to NOT give them the reaction they're hoping for.
Consider the sex scandals you're famililar with. Most politicians when they're caught cheating on their wives, or they're caught with some underaged person or prostitute in a hotel somewhere immediately go into damage control deny everything mode. They hide, they obfuscate, they simper and capitulate, and eventually decide to 'spend more time with their family' when they decide to step down. I'm not giving them that.
Public address time.
"Ahh, my sex life and the porn in my browser history. I'm sure there's a question there. Something along the lines of would I like to comment on it. Since this is going to play into my election, yeah. Yeah I would.
Now first... we all have sex. Those of us who are fortunate enough to find someone willing to do that with us. It makes us humans. We enjoy it because we evolved that way. Pair bonding and pleasant sensations make us predisposed to wanting to engage in the act of reproduction to create families that are more likely to raise children together and make their offspring more successful in the long run. There's no shame in enjoying it. Anyone who says differently is selling something or trying to establish a means of control over you. Those people are jerks. But moving on.
First of all... someone's going to ask. How much have I spent on it? I got bills to pay, so nothing. The internet kind of negated the need for that nearly 20 years ago. However, it's an industry that produces BILLIONS in profits every year. And I can pretty much guarantee that I'm not funding it. Several studies show, according to the traffic data collected by porn sites that consumption of these sites comes heaviest from the bible belt of the United States. I'm sure some savvy person can show a correlation of some sort here. But that's not my thing. So in answer to the question, nothing. Unless you count my internet bill.
Second. People are going to point at what I get off on and start asking if I feel I'm a role model for tomorrow's youth? I'll answer that, but I want to qualify my answer here. How many of you have a copy of 50 Shades of Grey in your house? Show of hands? Yeah... I wouldn't be willing to admit to that if I did either. I can happily say that I don't. I don't need that kind of garbage in my house. And if I had a daughter who wanted to read it, I'd want to talk to her about that. Cos that story? That's not healthy. That's an abusive relationship without consent or clear boundaries. And it's not something I'd want anyone to aspire to or do to another human being. Especially not my kids
As of June 2015... BEFORE the movie was released, that book sold 125 million copies worldwide. That was figures from two years ago. That's more books than people that voted in 2016. And since we've established that porn use in the United States is alive and doing very well, I think the odds very much favor the idea that since none of you very understandably raised your hand earlier, at least one or two of you are lying. You don't have to cop to that. If it gets you off to read what I consider abusive crap, that's your business. Not mine. So... as long as I'm hurting no-one, what gets me off is none of yours either.
And let's be clear. Despite what you've seen, I'm about the most vanilla kinkster ever. My wife and I have talked about what our limits and interests are. Consent and understanding are key. I go to a convention every year. And while there's all manner of adult-ness going around all around us, my wife and I are pretty much running the geek track. Showing funny internet videos and playing board and card games with people in the game room.
We go to a fetish convention to play board games and be nerds with our friends. I mean really. How boring are we? Pretty boring? Well you're wrong about that too. I find my wife to be interesting as hell. And it's one of the best things ever to have happened to me that she seems to feel the same about me.
I'd say this makes me more qualified morally to be an example for our children than at least 10 former and present congressmen, as well as conservative political pundits that've been caught in hotel rooms cheating on their spouses, or soliciting minors and/or prostitutes. Let's compare me with them. And if you want to say I'm worse than some philandering pedophile oligarch in his 60's, come say that to my face and let's see what happens. I'm reliably told you can get elected to congress even if you've bodyslammed a reporter nowadays. So me going upside some wise-ass Fox News creep's head ought to be no foul, right?
Now... this does not erase the mistreatment and abuses suffered around the world by people in the sex industry. It doesn't help the shameful. And let's say that again. SHAMEFUL numbers of women raped by men who are never prosecuted for it. Shamed for it in courts and society. Made to feel it was their fault. This does not validate the abuse inflicted. This does not make sexual abuse okay. This does not make human trafficking okay.
I am grim freakin' death on victim-shaming and abuse. And people that want to consider a popular trashy book or the behaviour of their leaders, or the forgiveness of their gods to be a blank check to do as much damage to others' lives as they want before they confess and go to heaven? They could at least chemically castrate or sterilize themselves and do us the favor of removing themselves from the gene pool. The rest of us might find it easier to cope.
And if you think this is a non-problem in the 21st century, my state of North Carolina just made it law that a rapist has the legal right to finish off in his victim if they decide they don't want to have sex with them anymore midway through. My state's general assembly took consent OFF the table. If they're implying or just outright saying I'm unfit while trying to legalize rape, it may be long past time we were rid of them. Ya think?
So. To recap. How much have I spent? Zilch. Do I think I would be a good role model for children? You betcha. A lot more than some of the opponents I have in congress and/or the white house who made sexual advances to children, and or sexual comments about their daughters. Do I approve of badly written rape fantasies disguised as Twilight Fanfiction? As toilet paper, sure. Do I approve of porn and the porn industry? A hell of a lot more than I approve of the statistical hypocracy of most of the people look at porn who ask that question. What gets me off and why? None of your damn business. And I’m pretty damn resentful that we have to spend ANY time on this when we could be talking about important things like how to save ourselves from mass extinction because fundamentalists’ precious views of the universe are threatened when they’re shown a bit of science that contradicts their folklore.
I’m pretty upset actually. Not about being asked whether I like porn or not. There was an attempted study where they tried to find out the differences between men who liked porn and those who didn’t. I say attempted cos they couldn’t find any guys who didn’t. So either all the guys in congress are all candidates for sainthood, or they’re lying about their porn habits. And my guess is that we’re not going to be canonizing anyone in government any time soon. We’ve got states out there trying to legalize rape. Make it illegal to not inform your rapist that you want to abort his offspring if he knocks you up. Making it harder for parents who WANT to be parents to become parents because they don’t conform to legislators’ preconceptions about human sexuality. You know. Mostly guys who get their information from 2000 year old dogma and bastardized darwinism that lead to the rise of the third reich. Vice-presidents who advocate the torture of people in some misguided attempt to change their sexual preferences with systematic psychological abuse that results in a 50% suicide rate. No I did not just pull that number out of my ass.
These are the nobel prize winners I’ve got questioning my suitability for public office? Fans of badly written porn who don’t admit to it? Misogynists who’d see a woman dead tomorrow if it meant not offending some religious nut in a nurse’s apron or a pharmacist who thinks she’s a slut? Pundits who stand up for molesters in the oval office, and preen over their own moral superiority after cheating on their wives? The hypocritical god-fearing fundamentalists that are statistically Porn-Tube’s biggest customers? How are these creatures even close to being more suitable for office than me? Here’s the obvious answer for anyone with a lick of sense.
They’re not.
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